Black Humor

If you have sex with your clone, are you gay or are you masturbating ?





The most powerful position is on your knees.
Sign outside of a baptist church







Guy: "Were you raised on a chicken farm?"

Girl: "No, why?"

Guy: "Cause you sure know how to raise some cock!"






Participating in an auction on E-Bay is like participating in the Special Olympics. Even if you win,you're still retarded.
Aaron Flippo




You can't get a no if you don't ask.




I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed there would be no more war.
Abbie Hoffman, 1960s revolutionary.






It's not that life is so short, it's just that your dead for so long.



If you think you've hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.



Reality is Public opinion.
Patrick Burn




Sleep is overrated. It's like practicing death.
T. Henry




In an autocracy, one person has his way; in an aristocracy a few people have their way; in a democracy, no one has his way.
Celia Green








All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Arthur Schopenhauer




I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I can beat them - and feel good about it.



Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end . . .
Jerry Seinfeld




I would never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong.



I fear the ignorance of others has stifled my genius.
Chris Capozzi




Childhood ends when you find out there are no monsters in your closet........and that they are really walking the streets.
Mike Hutchison





Diplomacy is telling someone to "Go to Hell" in such a way, they look forward to taking the trip.
Model UN Motto 




The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.






Black fella talkin to a white fella: Dear white fella,
when I'm born I'm black.
When I grow up I'm black.
When I'm cold I'm black.
When I go in the sun I'm black.
When I'm sick I'm black,
and when I die I am STILL black. 


And you white fellas, 
you're born pink,
you grow up white, 
when you're cold you're blue,
when you're in the sun your red,
when you're sick you're green
and when you die you turn grey... 


and you call ME colored !!!!