Baby World :Cute, Funny & Fantastic

Black Humor

If you have sex with your clone, are you gay or are you masturbating ?





The most powerful position is on your knees.
Sign outside of a baptist church







Guy: "Were you raised on a chicken farm?"

Girl: "No, why?"

Guy: "Cause you sure know how to raise some cock!"






Participating in an auction on E-Bay is like participating in the Special Olympics. Even if you win,you're still retarded.
Aaron Flippo




You can't get a no if you don't ask.




I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed there would be no more war.
Abbie Hoffman, 1960s revolutionary.






It's not that life is so short, it's just that your dead for so long.



If you think you've hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.



Reality is Public opinion.
Patrick Burn




Sleep is overrated. It's like practicing death.
T. Henry




In an autocracy, one person has his way; in an aristocracy a few people have their way; in a democracy, no one has his way.
Celia Green








All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Arthur Schopenhauer




I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I can beat them - and feel good about it.



Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end . . .
Jerry Seinfeld




I would never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong.



I fear the ignorance of others has stifled my genius.
Chris Capozzi




Childhood ends when you find out there are no monsters in your closet........and that they are really walking the streets.
Mike Hutchison





Diplomacy is telling someone to "Go to Hell" in such a way, they look forward to taking the trip.
Model UN Motto 




The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.






Black fella talkin to a white fella: Dear white fella,
when I'm born I'm black.
When I grow up I'm black.
When I'm cold I'm black.
When I go in the sun I'm black.
When I'm sick I'm black,
and when I die I am STILL black. 


And you white fellas, 
you're born pink,
you grow up white, 
when you're cold you're blue,
when you're in the sun your red,
when you're sick you're green
and when you die you turn grey... 


and you call ME colored !!!!

Funny & Cute GIFS

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Software Engineer Joke

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market. One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty.

She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?"
Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No." She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!" Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes." The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?" The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid idiot! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!" So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it is better keep your mouth shut and

let people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it !!!

The Panda Therapy

New panda pictures - some of the captions are great.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...

Mum? Can you come and get me down now?

Betcha can't see me.....


Oops! Slight miscalculation.


You go. I'll just stay here and rest my head a little bit.

I'll give you 2 seconds to get off me or I'm calling Mom.


paparazzi! Could we have a little privacy please?


Dear Martha Stewart:
I have this brown stain on my nice, white, fluffy butt...


Shhhh! I'm reviewing...


I cannot believe that I'm stuck in this tree again.
What is the matter with me?

Panda Meditation!

Kung Fu Panda...bring it on!

Does this log make my butt look fat?

I'm not coming out.
You'll have to come in and get me.


On the count of three..... lift!

It wasn't me! I didn't steal this bamboo shoot!
It was just sitting here, I swear it!


I'm sure there's a way out somewhere.
I saw an ant go this way yesterday.


Absolutely nothing accomplished.
The perfect day for a panda...

DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER ALREADY

Ayurvedic Treatment At Its Best - v funny

Funny Words Of Wisdom & craze